


wherever you find love (it feels like christmas)

by seemeeimbeebee



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Christmas Magic, F/M, Fluff, although like what are timelines really, found animal, with like a hint of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:00:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21949237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seemeeimbeebee/pseuds/seemeeimbeebee
Summary: Killian Jones certainly didn’t expect finding Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer to be the way he started his Christmas Eve morning...
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49
Collections: CSSECRETSANTA2k19





	wherever you find love (it feels like christmas)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [its-imperator-furiosa](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=its-imperator-furiosa).



> My contribution for @cssecretsanta2k19! My giftee was the amazingly wonderful @its-imperator-furiosa (who Tumblr won’t let me tag for some reason...don’t worry, I’ll DM you this so you get it!). I know I wasn’t always the best or most consistent Santa, but I hope you really like your gift! Happy holidays to all those who are celebrating this season!

It looked as if it was going to be quite a cold Christmas in Storybrooke, Maine. Killian could feel it in his bones. Still, he wasn’t going to tell his wife this and he had two very important reasons. The first of which was that she’d tease him for being old and while he was not vain about his age by any means, it was far too early in the morning to be teased for it.  
  
The second, of course, was because the lady herself was fast asleep, and he’d been married for long enough to know that he oughtn’t dare wake his wife up before she was good and ready. He rolled over to watch her sleep, as he often did when he woke before her, and found his heart all but melted. There was a second, blond head just peeking out from under the covers, curled up tightly against his wife.

Hope must have joined them in the middle of the night.

Killian smiled, and his smile softened when Hope yawned and rolled over to face him. “Good morning, Cygnet,” he murmured softly.

“Morning, Papa,” she mumbled, burying her face in his chest, just like she’d seen her mother do so many times. Killian chuckled and gently cupped the back of her head, running her fingers through her hair. His stump gently rested on the small of her back and he rocked her a little in his arms.

“Are you still sleepy, my love?” Killian asked softly, kissing her forehead. Hope nodded against him, trying to snuggle in closer. “Go back to sleep, little love. It’s still early yet.”

“I saw Rudolph in the backyard last night,” Hope informed him sleepily.

“Did you now?” Killian asked, thinking she was playing a little game with him. His stump gently moved up and down her back to try and lull her back to sleep. “He must’ve been looking for the best place to land for Christmas Eve.”

“I wanted to go outside and get him,” Hope yawned again. “It was snowed after I went to bed. He must’ve been cold.” She frowned and looked up at him. “Papa? If I left Rudolph outside, is Santa going to put me on the naughty list?”

“I don’t think he will,” he reasoned. “After all, Santa may not have wanted any surprise gifts ruined.”

“But what if Rudolph needed my help?” Hope asked anxiously. “And I didn’t go help him? You and Mama help everybody…”

“Do you want me to go and check to see if he’s still there?” Killian murmured gently, stroking her cheek now to try and calm her down. It was just as well, he figured. If it snowed, even a little, he probably needed to put ice on the driveway and walkway, and possibly dust-off Emma’s Bug. Hope nodded, and Killian kissed her forehead again to try and soothe her. “Okay. But you have to take my place and cuddle Mama so she didn’t get lonely, okay?”

Hope’s response was a sleepy, yet affirmative grunt, and she rolled off Killian to curl up back to Emma’s side. His wife instinctively wrapped her arms around Hope. For a moment, he was inclined to stay with them just a minute longer, but the worry in Hope’s eyes made him get up.

He was quick to get dressed and bundle up, knowing that he’d never hear the end of it from Emma if he got a cold for thinking he was immune to Maine winters with all his body heat. And admittedly, he had come around on his wife’s preference for beanies during the wintertime. He quite liked them for himself.

After zipping up his coat, he exited the front door, slipping slightly but not falling. He let out a quiet and creative curse before making his way to the shed, where they kept the salt.

True to Hope’s word, there were hoofprints in the backyard.

Perhaps she’d seen a regular deer and mistook it for a reindeer. She was still quite young yet, and it made sense that she might’ve confused the two.

But his frown only deepened when the hoofprints headed toward the shed.

The door gently rattled in the early morning breeze, but it was clearer than anything that it was open.

His crept closer, keeping his footsteps light and silent as they could be.

(There was an incident with a skunk that he did not to relieve as hilarious as Emma found it in her frequent retellings of the tale.)

He stepped inside the shed, and it seemed quite vacant. However, everything that had ever been in the shed seemed tossed on the floor. With a sigh, he squatted to see if there was anything that was broken.

A few knickknacks it seemed, nothing that Emma couldn’t fix with a wave of her hand. He sighed, defeated as he put them back on the shelf. Straightening up, he walked to the back of the shed to grab the salt.

The yell of surprise he let out startled at least a few birds, but did not startle the animal that was now patiently residing in the shed. A fairly decent sized reindeer was sitting on the floor of the shed, and clearly favoring an injured hind leg.

But more importantly?

The reindeer had a bright, shiny red nose that glowed intermittently.

A whoosh of magic signaled the arrival of his wife and daughter. “We heard you scream,” Emma explained worriedly, looking him over. “And thought you might’ve been—” She stopped when she finally took stock of the animal now sitting in their shed. Her question came out in a breathless whisper, “Is that--?”

“Rudolph!” Hope exclaimed excitedly, rushing past them to say hello. Had it not been for Emma’s quick reflexes, Hope probably would’ve gotten a bit closer to the horns on Rudolph’s head than Killian would’ve liked. “But Mama, I want to say hi to Rudolph! Put me down!” the little girl protested, wriggling in Emma’s arms.

“Easy, kid,” Emma warned. “Rudolph looks like he’s hurt. And he might be scared because he’s so far from home. So we have to be gentle, okay?”

“He doesn’t look very scared,” Hope pointed out.

Killian had to agree with her assessment. So far, the reindeer had only taken them in with a huff before letting out a frustrated grunt that he couldn’t get comfortable. But still, those horns made him pause.

“Let me be the judge of that, little miss,” Emma said, handing Hope off to Killian.

She sat down in front of Rudolph and tentatively outstretched her hand to him. Rudolph eagerly bumped her hand with his nose, shifting it to a spot on his snout that he clearly preferred to be pet on. “Hey, buddy,” she whispered, her voice filled with awe and her eyes filled with tears as she stroked his muzzle. “It’s okay…we’ve got you, okay?”

She’d never looked more beautiful, sitting on the floor of their shed in her pajamas and petting a reindeer, and he swore he fell in love with her just a little bit more for it.

“Can I go pet him _now_ , Papa?” Hope asked eagerly, trying to slide out of Killian’s arms.

“Approach him slowly, and gently,” Killian instructed. “Sit just like Mama is…”

Hope took this instruction to mean that she could climb into Emma’s lap. The minute Killian set her on the floor, she all but clambered into her mother’s lap. She raised her hand up gently like her mother’s and began to stroke Rudolph’s muzzle. “He’s so soft!” she proclaimed; her eyes were bright with wonder.

And then of course came the question that both parents arguably should’ve seen coming.

“Can we keep him?”

“Uhh…” Emma started, looking up to Killian. Her gaze read: _How the hell are we supposed to explain that we can’t keep a magical reindeer in our shed?_ He admittedly had to stifle a laugh at their predicament, and Emma had to hide her grin herself. “Well, I think he’d miss all of the other reindeer, don’t you?”

“Oh,” Hope said. “And I guess Santa needs him more than we do for the sleigh.”

To her credit, Hope was a very intuitive girl. And sometimes it worked out in their favor.

“So where _is_ Santa?” she asked.

And sometimes it did not work out in their favor.

Emma looked at him, raising her eyebrows as if to say she fielded the last question, now it was his turn.

“That’s a very good question,” Killian admitted, looking down at his daughter. “One that I’m not sure of the answer to. But you know who probably could help?”

\--

“Henry!” Hope exclaimed excitedly, all but crashing into her older brother’s legs.

Henry let out a deep chuckle—one that Killian was still getting used to some days—as he scooped Hope up into his arms. “Hey, squirt,” he greeted, kissing the top of her head. “I heard you got a cool Christmas surprise!”

“Well it’s not Christmas yet,” Hope informed him seriously. “So it’s not really a Christmas surprise.”

“Well, how’s the patient doing?” Killian asked as David returned to the house, bouncing Hope against his hip.

“Well I didn’t exactly major in reindeer biology,” David replied wryly. “But he seems to be doing all right out in your shed. I’d his leg is definitely some kind of injured. But he’s calm and that’s what important. And now we can work on finding Santa.” David let out a strange little chuckle, not that Killian blamed him. “I guess that’s why our resident author is here.” He playfully clapped Henry on the shoulder.

“Is Emma still out there with him?” Killian asked. David nodded. He frowned. It wasn’t like her to at least not come in and say hello, especially with Henry here. “I better go see if she’s all right.”

He went outside to see his wife still sitting on the floor of the shed, gently petting Rudolph’s muzzle. He sat beside her and gently wrapped his arm around her. She nestled in closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, gently pressing his lips to her forehead. “You’ve been quiet since we saw Rudolph.”

She smiled at him, a little sadly, her hand stroking the reindeer, not that he seemed to mind it much. “I…he’s real.” Her voice still held that strange note of wonder to it, but there was still a deep sadness to it.

Killian squeezed her a little bit closer. “Does that surprise you?” he asked, his voice barely climbing above a whisper as his wife cuddled in closer. He kissed her temple again, trying to soothe her again.

“That Rudolph is real?” Emma said quietly, curling up into her husband’s warmth. “I…I knew it logically. But to see it face to face is another thing.” Her lip trembled a little bit. “It also means that…” She rolled her eyes. “It’s stupid.”

“Young wounds, hmm, love?” Killian pressed their foreheads together to steal her lips in a gentle kiss. She let out a soft, wet laugh against his mouth before kissing him back.

“Yeah,” Emma said. “When I was…really young. I used to wish for Santa to take me out of my bad foster homes. I figured…I figured he didn’t even have to wrap it, it was an easy sell. Surely he could…make it happen, you know? But there I was…year in and year out.” She looked up, trying to stop the tears from pooling in her eyes. “Guess Santa’s not stronger than the Dark Curse,” she said wryly.

Killian squeezed her tighter. “And now you have to reconcile the notion that there was someone who could’ve helped you and either didn’t or wasn’t in their power to,” he reasoned softly.

He wondered what this meant for his own past, about all the presents he could’ve gotten. Had Santa had the ability to rescue him as well? Or was Santa only limited in his powers?

“You know me too well,” she complained softly, giving him a playful eyeroll.

“Aye, I’m sure it’s such a burden to have someone who knows and loves you that way,” he teased lovingly, stroking her hip.

Emma playfully shoved at his chest before kissing him again. “Thank you,” she whispered. “You and the kids are the best gift I ever got. I don’t even need Santa—”

“You want to meet him so badly, don’t you?” Killian asked, a grin forming on his lips. Emma burst into laughter and took her hand off Rudolph’s pelt to wrap both arms fully around Killian. “Open book,” he teased against the shell of her ear.

She pulled away slightly, her hand sliding down his chest as the other one remained tangled in the back of his head. “Is it wrong of me to be excited? I…I mean he’s Santa.” His wife’s eyes gleamed with excitement and his heart melted a little bit more.

“We have to find him first,” Killian said. “Are you ready to join the others in the house?” He stood up and extended his hand to her. “Your family’s waiting for you.” He gently pulled her up, and he leaned over to pat Rudolph’s muzzle gently. “Don’t worry,” he murmured. “We’re working on getting you home. And luckily for you? This family’s good at that.”

\--

Emma was sat on the couch with Henry on her right side and Hope on her left, and Killian could feel his heart swell with love at the sight. She looked absolutely beautiful in the light of their Christmas decorations, glowing with her own happiness of having both of their children nearby.

She was at home, in her element.

“You look happy,” Snow teased, sliding a mug of cocoa into his hands. “I would think you’d be the most worried of all about having a reindeer stuck in your shed on the day before Christmas. Unless you’re looking to make all the deliveries tonight yourself.” She tilted her head to the side, a familiarly playful glimmer in her eyes—just like Emma’s, he thought—before she added, “Though your beard is not nearly as voluptuous as Santa’s.”

“Well if we get him to Santa by nightfall, then all should be well,” Killian replied, chuckling as he took as sip of his hot chocolate. He tilted his head toward Emma. “But I can’t help but see my wife in her element and be warmed by it.” As he spoke, Emma pulled Hope closer to her side and pressed a kiss to her head and then leaned over to kiss Henry’s. “And my wife, surrounded by her children and trying to help someone…well, it doesn’t get any better than that.”

“I think you’re missing from that picture, Killian,” Snow murmured. “Because she’d always count the best version of herself with you.” She took a sip of her cocoa before she added, “I’m sure that’s why she hadn’t even thought of Santa again until Hope was born.”

“You knew?” Killian asked, arching an eyebrow to her. “When did you know?”

“Hope’s first Christmas,” Snow replied, standing beside her son-in-law, wrapping her hands tighter around the mug. “She came to me and asked about Enchanted Forest traditions, and when I asked what was wrong with Santa, the whole story came spilling out…”

Emma’s laugh reached them in the kitchen when Hope tried to pepper her mother’s face with kisses and Killian smiled. “I don’t know about all of you,” he murmured. “But…I think it’s our turn to produce a Christmas miracle instead of holiday gloom, don’t you? We could thinking about all the things we wish we’d done differently, or all the people we wish were here…but that won’t change our now. Our new holiday memories.”

His voice got a little firmer. “So, let this be the one where we save the holidays.”

“That was quite the hope speech,” Snow replied affectionately.

Killian looked down at his mother in law with a surprised smile. “So it is…though it’d be much easier if Santa had a talking phone.”

“That’s it!” Henry declared, his head jerking up. “The United Realms White Pages! Give me five minutes!” He rushed out the door, Hope hot on his heels declaring that she wanted to help.

Emma stood up and wrapped her arms around her husband’s waist, resting her chin on his shoulder. “So just to clarify: you don’t want to keep a flying reindeer in the house?” she asked, kissing his cheek. “He seems like a sweet boy.”

“No, not even a little bit,” Killian said emphatically. “We’ve got a toddler, isn’t that enough?”

Emma chuckled and nuzzled his shoulder. “Do you think Henry is gonna find Santa’s number in the White Pages?” she asked him.

“Well, I’ve never known the lad to back away from a challenge,” Killian replied. “He’s a bit like someone else I know that way.”

“You love me for it,” Emma replied smugly.

“Aye, that I do,” he answered tenderly, turning around in her arms to kiss her temple. He gently cupped her cheek. “Are you ready to meet Santa?”

“Only if you’re there with me,” she answered, resting her head against his shoulder. “I don’t want to be put on like the permanent naughty list for yelling at Santa.”

“Well I just so happen to like when you’re naughty and when you’re yelling at me,” Killian said lowly in her ear. It earned him a weak laugh and a gentle tap to his chest. “So even if you strike out with Santa, there’s still me to fall back on, love.”

“I’ll certainly keep my options open,” she replied, raising her eyebrow at him, unable to keep the smirk off her lips.

And he certainly couldn’t resist kissing that smirk right off of her lips.

“You kiss so much!” Hope declared with a giggle when she returned into the kitchen, lifting her arms up to her parents. Killian scooped her up and kissed her cheek as Hope nuzzled up against him.

“Did your brother find Santa?” Emma asked, brushing Hope’s hair out of her face gently.

“Yes, he did,” a deep, jolly and wholly unfamiliar voice answered from their doorway.

“Santa…” Hope and Emma whispered breathlessly.

“Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!” the old man laughed cheerfully, putting his hand on his stomach as he laughed.

“He’s real!” Emma looked up at her husband with an excited whisper, as if he did not see the man standing in their front hallway. The joy slid off her face when she saw Hope hide away against Killian.

Killian looked down at his daughter. “Cygnet?”

“I left Rudolph out in the cold,” Hope whimpered. “I saw him and didn’t do anything. And now Santa is going to think I’m very very bad.”

“He won’t, baby,” Emma promised. “I won’t let him."

Killian saw the look in his wife’s eyes and the way she steeled her jaw. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to Santa. “Santa?” she asked. “I wanted to ask you something.”

The old man looked over them all appraisingly before giving Emma a knowing smile. “You’re wondering if you’re on the naughty list for leaving Rudolph out in the cold,” he chuckled, his gaze settling on Hope for a minute. “I think, given if you’d just woken up from a dream, and you worked so hard to help him once you realized your mistake, I think that is a very good thing and you have been very good, my dear.”

“And with that kind of goodness and care for others, should you choose to carry it into everything you do,” Santa continued. “Then I think that should make you a very good girl for all your days. Now, will you introduce me to your lovely family? I’d like to thank all of you who helped my dear Rudolph.”

“Of course!” Emma said with a proud smile.

\--

“Are you sad you didn’t get to ask Santa about your past?” Killian asked his wife when they were laying in bed that night.

Hope, once again, was squished in between them.

“Eh, what good was it gonna do?” Emma asked with a little shrug. “Hope needed to know more that she wasn’t gonna end up on the naughty list more than I needed to know what Santa’s deal was when I was a kid.” She shrugged. “Probably would’ve hurt more either way.”

Killian gently cupped her cheek and kissed her softly, hoping that it would soothe some of the sting behind everything.

“Besides,” she murmured tenderly against his lips when her eyes opened again. “I’ve got a good husband, my parents, good kids…what differences are a few presents from Santa going to make?”

“The first night Hope decides she doesn’t want to be cuddled up between us,” Killian swore. “I will do everything humanly in my power to show you just how wonderful you are, my love.”

Sleigh bells rung over their house and footsteps sounded downstairs.

“Do you think we should go investigate?” Emma asked.

“Are you asking because you want more hot cocoa?” Killian asked softly and she giggled up at him. Kissing her one more time, he untangled himself from his wife and daughter and headed downstairs.

Just like magic there were far more presents under the tree than their had been. Including a thank you card from “Rudolph” with an inked footprint for all of them.

It had Killian chuckling as he continued making cocoa for his wife.

A small gust of magic ruffled his hair and at first he thought it was Emma having come downstairs after all. But when he turned around, there was only a red envelope addressed to “Emma and Killian” leaning up against the stove.

Killian felt strangely compelled to open the letter right then and there but he had to resist the urge.

He finished making the cocoa and tried to balance the two mugs of cocoa and as well as the letter as he came up the stairs. “Your cocoa, my dear,” he hummed, handing it to her.

“What’s that?” she asked, tilting her head toward the red envelope in Killian’s hand. “An early present?”

“I’m not sure,” he said, putting his mug down by the bedside table. “I was making cocoa…and then it was just there. Almost as if…”

“By magic?” Emma asked wryly. “Apparently Christmas magic is the only thing that can heal injured reindeers, or so I’ve seen today.”

“So you think this is extra magic in case another reindeer decides to crash in our shed?” Killian asked, waving the envelope in her face. “After all, it is addressed to both of us.”

  
She pat the space beside her and pulled back the covers so Killian could climb back into bed. Once he was all settled in, he opened up the letter and began to read out loud.

>   
>  _“Dearest Emma and Killian,_
> 
> _Once again, I cannot thank you for the kindness you have done my dear Rudolph. I’m sure you’re quite familiar with this land’s stories, and thus know that he is not always used to the kindness of strangers. I can say with a great deal of certainty that he appreciated your treatment of him, and the way you took to him in his hour of need. For this, I am also immeasurably grateful. He could not have been brought into a house more filled with love and joy. Perhaps that is why he sought you out after his injury._
> 
> _I sensed during my visit to your wonderful home that there was something you wished to ask me but did not in order to make sure your daughter knew I wasn’t angry with her. Please, if she asks again, please reassure her that despite not immediately tending to Rudolph that I praise her sensibility for not running out into a snowstorm at night, and that she is still a very good girl. Though I suspect a second generation of true love would not be anything less, provided her parents continue to keep her on the right path._
> 
> _As for you both, I feel I owe you a sincere apology. As Santa, and therefore one of the few wielders of Christmas magic, I do hear the prayers of children. But, my magic is restricted and there is only so much I can do. For the most part, this has manifested itself as being able to travel the realms in one night and deliver toys._
> 
> _But for you both, my magic was simply not enough to be able to help either of you. And for that, I am sorrier than you should ever know. You were heard, and it broke my heart that I couldn’t answer._
> 
> _Continue to take care of each other, and you should have all the Christmas magic you should ever need in this life._
> 
> _All my best,_
> 
> _Kris_
> 
> _PS: I do have a cellphone number. Please, feel free to call me if you ever need to. It’s—"_

Killian put the letter down, his own hand trembling. The wrecked look on her face mirrored his own, but the smile on her lips was peaceful. As heartbreaking as the acknowledgement was, it was peaceful and healing in its way.

Just another reminder that they had not been alone then, and certainly were not alone now.

“Merry Christmas, Killian,” Emma whispered, leaning over Hope’s head to kiss him.

“Merry Christmas, love,” he whispered back before kissing her.

“Mama? Papa? Can you stop kissing and go to sleep _please_?”


End file.
